I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
