i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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