I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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