I need help removing her.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
