the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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