can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
