none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize