when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize