return my video game
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
