apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize