What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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