oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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