We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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