i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
