The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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