I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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