I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
