I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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