my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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