Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
