I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We left an ass print on the piano.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
