i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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