Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
