im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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