fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize