Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
