By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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