Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I need moral support for this bender
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Randomize
