Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize