summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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