These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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