No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
