Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
