if i can run in heels then i can drive
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
