So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
