So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
