You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
