I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
