Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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