butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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