he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
