I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
