he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
