Just mADE A PArabola og urine
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
