Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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