1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
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new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
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I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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