i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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