Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
