Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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