That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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