ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
