But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
