Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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