why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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