I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
