look no pants
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
