Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
