you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
