Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Where is the hickey?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
