The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
