He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
