I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
