Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Can Purell be used as lube?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
