the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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