Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
