You're a womanizer and a bitch.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
