We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
