I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
