I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
