things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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